How Could You Do This To Me?
by Innocent At Heart
Summary: "I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you." Ashfur remembers. Rated T to be safe.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides the words that are written below~_

_A/N: Since I'm currently taking a break from **Always**, I've had the desire to write some one-shots. Last time I had written about Bramble/Squirrel, well, this time, its going to be Ash/Squirrel, because I think it was one of the most heartbreaking love tragedies of all, especially on how Squirrelfight used him. Anyways, this is in Ashfur's point of view. Enjoy~_

**How Could You Do This To Me?**

Its hard to hate someone so much, when you loved them for as long as I have. I remember the day she was born; I couldn't stop staring at her. She was the cutest bundle of fur I had ever seen and no one could deny it either. She looked almost just like her father, besides the white on her and when I found out her name was Squirrelkit, I didn't think they couldn't have picked a better name.

I would meet her and her sister, Leafkit, every day. We would play together when they were kits, and I really enjoyed their company, especially Squirrelkit. She had filled in the missing pieces of my heart, after my mother had died, and after I realized that my sister had always had the perfect mate, waiting for her. I wanted to feel that love, and I felt that for Squirrelkit, even before I realized it.

And then she became an apprentice.

She was one of the most spunky, arrogant, stubborn, cats I had ever met in my entire life, and she could never let anyone say no, because even if someone did, she would just ignore it and continue on. She had such a personality! And I couldn't have been prouder that my own mentor had taught her when it was her time! I think Dustpelt figured that I loved her, because I never wanted to leave her side, and when she wasn't there, I couldn't stop thinking or talking about her. To be honest, I think I annoyed some of the cats because of it.

And then she went on this journey with Brambleclaw.

I was torn, because she had left me behind, but I waited for her, because that's just what I wanted to do, its just what I would do forever. No one understood the love I had for her, because I don't think anyone could have loved her more furiously as I. No one understood her like I, at least.

But, of course, something always stood in the way.

She fell in love with Brambleclaw. I mean, what could you actually suspect? They went on a journey together and had done things that no cat would ever understand, but _it still hurt_. I tried to show her my love, and for a while, she actually seemed like she might have loved me too, but I found out it was just to get back at Brambleclaw. What was I? Something you can use and toss around when you feel like it? But I would do anything for her.

I would go through the ends of the earth for her.

I tried to show her my love, I tried so hard, but it wasn't good enough, because she never cared; not once. I was used for nothing more than a game of cat and mouse. I would chase her forever, but it was a lost cause, because she could never be mine.

I tried to tell her.

I tried to be what she wanted.

_But I just wasn't Brambleclaw._

I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I snapped.

And I tried to kill her kits, Jaykit, Lionkit, and Hollykit, when I found out the harsh truth; they weren't even her kits to begin with!

I felt stupid and backed away, because what else could I do? Still kill them, when it wouldn't bring her as much pain as she had brought me? I couldn't do that, because what point, what good would that do?

And when Hollyleaf killed me, the only thought on my mind was;

_How could you do this to me? I loved you, Squirrelflight. _

And still to this day, even in StarClan, I mourn my loss, I mourn what could have been, and I mourn for the fact that even though she got what she deserved, I didn't want her to feel the same pain I had – no cat deserved it, and I know I didn't deserve it.

I still wonder, despite it all though, whatever would have happened if she had loved me too? Would we have kits of our own? Would we have named them Silverkit and Blazekit, like I had dreamed about so many days?

So, still to this day, I wonder; _How could you do this to me?_

_A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this. It really touched my heart. Not only that, its based off of some things that's happened to me in my real life, as was **Better Than Revenge** so anyways, I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope its reviewed. I will also be starting on **Always** again shortly. Thanks :}_


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